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"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Maya Angelou
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John Chapter three begins with a conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus. Jesus the Son of God in human form and Nicodemus a Pharisees and a ruler of the Jews. The conversation opens as follows:
Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; this man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that you have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God”
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John is the gospel I love the most—I hope it’s okay that I have a favorite. Luke is a close second. A few months ago, I decided to reread the gospels and reacquaint myself with The Savior: what He said, what He did, how He lived. The decision was spurred by a commentary that stated more people know what Paul said and did than Jesus. This time, I didn’t want to breeze past the stories, the conversations, the interactions, I wanted to understand them and the circumstances surrounding them. Beginning with the book of Matthew, I moved through the stories with the familiarity the comes from knowing, but when I came to John chapter three, I couldn’t move on. I got stuck. For the last month, I have been studying the conversation that Jesus had with Nicodemus in the first part of the chapter. By studying I mean reading and listening to a series of sermons by John Piper. Piper is a great resource. His doctrine is sound and his passion for the Lord palpable.
My former pastor said that when you read scripture, do so slowly, deliberately with the intention to understand what it says. He said to read a verse, stop, and then think about it. How many people do that? Think while reading the Bible? Some are falling asleep, others are annoyed, and many are confused. Know that it does not have to be that way. What he was teaching was how to study the Bible as opposed to simply reading it. Here are some practical approaches to studying scripture: I have had some interesting “meeting” experiences. I say meeting because dating never occurred. Over the last six years, these meeting experiences have ranged from bizarre to enchanting but none have panned out. All of these men professed faith in Christ, and I should have known better.
The first guy was a coworker. Our job functions rarely met, so I didn’t interact with him frequently. After a few failed attempts to hang out with me, we finally ended up eating and talking. It was a no for me. I have rules about dating where I work, and I wasn’t interested. It was mostly because I wasn’t interested. We all know when you are interested in a guy the rules suddenly become flexible. He continued his pursuit and one day tells me that some time ago he had a vision from God. In that vision, he saw a brown skin woman with a small afro, and he knew that woman was his. I replied, “I do not have a small afro.” At this point, you must be thinking, “seriously?” I can’t make this up. I’d like to tell you that I recognized this tomfoolery for what it was immediately. I’d really like to tell you that, but it isn’t what happened. When he said this to me, it got me thinking. Up to that point, I had never had a man tell me he thought I was his wife by way of vision from God. And, if he had a vision from God, then it must be true. If it is true, then why don’t I feel that way about him? A few weeks later I told him that I would like to remain friends. So ensued months of folly. He started to treat me badly at work. He constantly disrespected my boundaries and was generally impossible. And with all this, I still tried to understand how God had given him this vision because who lies on God? Who I ask you? Who? I was so confused. I prayed and I prayed. “God, is this my husband?” He was a silent as the grave; He said nothing. One day my coworker said to me, “What can God tell you that you cannot see? If I were you, I would run away from that man with my shoes in my hands.” Sometimes you need someone to tell you what you already know. Like Celie, I ran. |
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January 2022
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